I do not need to validate the word “friendly” but I will oblige. When I say friendly, I mean I’m the person that buys you a birthday card even if I don’t know you that well. I say hi to people I don’t know. I smile at people in the grocery store. I’m nice to pretty much everyone. I like people. And for the most part, I think they like me too. I might even be annoyingly nice and that’s why someone chooses not to like me. (The struggle of being a happy, friendly, outgoing, positive person is real!)
Now that we’ve got my friendliness credentials out of the way, let’s get to work. I’ve often thought to myself, “What is wrong with people? Has society just really just got so harried that we have done away with all etiquette and forgotten basic manners?” This is usually after a long ten hour day on my feet and I’m digging a half eaten cheese burger out of a cup because someone shoved it in there. Seriously, this thing was just crammed in there. This person obviously doesn’t have a mother or at least one that taught them not to play with their food. Then I set these thoughts aside. The world is not filled with bunch of motherless, classless, rude, cheap and thoughtless people. I mean, sure, there are some. But not everyone can be, so what is the real issue? Maybe people just don’t know proper dining etiquette? Maybe they’ve never worked in the service industry? Just maybe, they don’t know not to shove a giant cheese burger into a tiny drinking glass. So, I’ve come up with some guidelines to help us all through this.
1.Tipping.
Is it true we make good money as bartenders and servers? Our base pay is $2.13 an hour before our tips. How much money a server can earn off tips, depends on how many tables the restaurant allows the server to run at a time, the volume of the establishment, and really what kind of dining experience it is (a bar, a bar and grill, fine dining..ect). How much you believe servers make should have no bearing on whether you choose to leave a tip. Serving is hard work. It’s hard on your body, hard on your feet. We sweat for every penny we make. We clean up some seriously gross stuff sometimes.
If you go out to eat, you should expect to factor in a 18-20% tip into your total meal cost. If you can’t afford the extra cost of tipping, maybe you really shouldn’t be going out in the first place. I’ve been there. I’ve told my friends that I can’t go out because I was too broke. It sucks! But if they are your real friends, they’ll understand or maybe if you have friends like mine, they’ll offer to buy! (But don’t be a mooch! Get them back the next time you have money to go out!)
Speaking of buying your friends dinner, if someone else picks up the tab, make sure to offer to pay the tip!! Sometimes people really want to be generous and pick up the tab for the whole table. Then they get sticker shock when the bill comes! This happens especially if everyone has been drinking! Those margaritas and craft beers add up quick! If your buddy picks up the tab, be a pal back and snag the tip. This relieves him a bit of that fat tip he was going to leave anyway, because you had a great sever. This will also make you look like a humble friend! What a lucky person to have such generous friends!
Servers have a term, “camping”. This is when a party sits at one table for hours but really only order a minimum amount. This often happens when people are in to watch a big game or when old friends are finally catching up after too long. We get it! We are sports fans too! We love catching up with our friends! But if you are taking up a table for several hours, you should consider leaving tip that is more than 20%. And I’ll tell you why: that server could have cleared off and resat your table several times in the amount of time you have been there. (We call this ” flipping.”) It’s potential money they are losing out on.
An easy way to calculate 20% of your bill: every $10 you spend is a $2 tip!
If you have terrible service, before you complain or leave a crappy tip, think about why the server was terrible. Was it because they genuinely were terrible at their job? Could you see your server talking and goofing off with the other wait staff? Or was the service terrible because the restaurant was understaffed? Was it a kitchen error? If the server made a mistake, were they apologetic and was the issue resolved? There is no room in this industry for the lazy, the rude, or the unapologetic-ally forgetful. If you had bad service because they were really a bad server, you should speak up. Chances are, the rest of the restaurant dislikes this person as well. Maybe it’s time they made a forced career change. But if you had bad service and it was a possible honest mistake or an issue out of the server’s control, you should tip as normal and go about your day. Everyone makes mistakes. Life is crazy sometimes and the staff gets sick. The kitchen might be down to one oven out of two or cook out sick. Sometimes, this is how it goes at your job too!
Make sure if you go out to eat as a family and your kids leave a giant mess, you account for that in your tip! Do you like cleaning up after your 4 year old when he has thrown peas at his baby sister? Spilled cups of milk? Or smashed little pieces of cookie out of your carpet? Crunched up little Goldfish crackers and Cheerios shoved in between the seat cushions? We don’t like cleaning it up either!
2. Manners
When your server comes over to your table, please put down your phone or your iPad, and look at us when we are talking to you. If you don’t want human interaction or don’t have time for it, you can always call in your order and we’ll have it ready to go and it won’t interrupt your busy day. The same thing goes for your kids. Soft skills are important no matter how many gadgets we have in our lives. It’s important for your kids to know how to order something off a menu and how to ask for a soda or a water. It’s important they know how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Disconnect the gadgets and enjoy your meal.
If you have children, please don’t let them wonder around the restaurant unattended. We love kids! Some of us are even parents! But that doesn’t mean we want to babysit your kids for free while we are trying to get six waters for table 8 and run this really hot plate of food to table 27. Also as a safety thing, you seriously have no idea who is in the restaurant with you. You don’t want little Johnny getting snatched up while you were drinking a margarita and eating too many chips. We know accidents happen and sometimes a rogue toddler or restless 8 year old ends up behind the server station eating something off the floor. It happens! But we seriously don’t want anything bad to happen to your kids and we don’t want to reprimand them for playing in the toilet water in the women’s bathroom. Keep an eye on your kids!
IF YOU SPIT ON THE FLOOR, SPIT ON ANOTHER PERSON, SPIT ON THE WINDOW, SPIT ON THE TABLE, OR ANYWHERE THAT ISN’T A CUP OR A NAPKIN, I HAVE 5 WORDS FOR YOU:
WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER THINK?!
Spitting is disgusting. One time I had to clean spit off a window. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU. It was from up high too, so there is no possible way a kid did that. If you are over the age of 10 years old, you can still think fart jokes are hilarious but you have no damn excuse to be spitting on things. If you use chewing tobacco, please for the love of God, ask for a spit cup from your server or use an empty beer bottle.
Someone has to clean these types of things up. Be mindful of that when you are at a restaurant or bar. If you are wanting to spit out your chewing gum and there are no napkins available, ask for one! If you are in a place with cloth napkins, as for a beverage napkin or excuse yourself to the restroom and spit it out there. DO NOT PUT IT UNDER THE CHAIR OR TABLE.
Again, unless you are under 10, there is no excuse for you to be placing body parts on the doors and windows of a drinking or eating establishment. Put your man boobs away. I do not want to clean it off the window at the end of the night. Do not lick the window or doors either. Do you want to get hepatitis? (You can’t get hepatitis this way but still why would you lick a window?!)
Fellas, do not pee on the floor. If you cannot make it into the urinal, maybe you’ve tied on one to many and it’s time to call it a night. Ladies, do not hoover and pee on the floor or pee on the seat. If there are no sani-seat covers, put some toilet paper around the seat and call it good to go.
Do not snap your fingers, clap your hands, whistle or grab your server to get their attention. (Grabbing in no way shape or form is appropriate. Do you like being touched by people you don’t really know? It’s awkward right? Social norms are norms for a reason. Don’t touch people you don’t know!) It’s rude and we know you are there. We see you. We know you are probably ready to order. We will be right with you once we drop this appetizer or drink off. Believe it or not, we are pretty observant. While we have gauged your table is ready to order, we also see that tables 5 and 6 need more water, we know that table 8 is also ready to place their food order, and we also just got sat at table 10. This is our job. We want you to have a pleasurable experience and to come back and spend your time and money with us! Regular customers are enjoyable! If you see your server out on the floor, helping another table, be patient. They will be with you in just a few!
Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. I know this is a simple concept but you wouldn’t believe how many people don’t use them anymore! Using them can go a long way! Being polite is just a good basic human skill to have!
3. Miscellaneous etiquette and whatnot
If the restaurant has open seating, don’t sit at a table that has places for 8 people if there are only 2 of you in your party. It stinks for the server because they can’t take a big party at that table but you are also denying someone else a spot to eat dinner that actually needs the 6 extra chairs! Be courteous of others!
Don’t drink and drive. Don’t let your friends drink and drive. Call a sober, a cab or an Uber.
If you are leaving a cash tip, but paid with a credit card, and you feel bad about putting a zero on the tip line, just write in “cash” on that line.
I know it varies by ordinance and what type of liquor licence the establishment has, but sometimes restaurants have rules they have to follow about the admittance of minors after a specific time. I work for a bar and grill that does not allow anyone under 21 after 9pm. Be mindful and respectful of these rules. No, we can’t let you stay with your 14 year old kid because you are a friend of the owner or of the band we have playing. No, we can’t let you stay in the bar area with your baby. No, we can’t. We just can’t. It’s just the rules.
Don’t bring in your own liquor into the bar. You’ll be kicked out. If the drinks are too pricey, pregame at home, drink somewhere else, or just limit yourself to a few so you can afford it. Trust me, moderation never did anyone any harm. You are a much worse dancer after six shots of Fireball than you were after just one!
Don’t walk out on your tab and don’t let your friends walk out on theirs either. It’s just a shitty thing to do. And more than likely your server will end up having to pay for the tab!!
Serving isn’t a bad gig. I think sometimes it allows us to see the best and worst in people. I’ve had some really great moments as a server. People love to tell stories and share successes. I’ve had people leave very generous tips along with stories of how they used to be in the service industry or currently are! I’ve had regular customers give me Christmas cards and ask about my personal life and share pieces of their lives with me! They seriously have no idea how very much I cherish them. Regulars make the world a better place. I could be having a terrible day, but my smile lights up to a billion watts when I see a familiar and friendly face.
I’m also very lucky to work with a staff of charming, funny, bright, hardworking individuals. I couldn’t ask to be part of a better team. I love you all and am proud of the work we do!
KEYS TO THE IGNITION 